What is the Illuminati? You asked Google – here’s the answer

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You shouldn’t have Googled that, you’re on a list now. And I really hope you didn’t read anything that came up. Knowing anything at all about the Illuminati is very risky – first because they will suspect you are on to them and track you down ruthlessly, and second because you could accidentally end up mentioning some of these facts in conversation, meaning you will never be taken seriously ever again.

So it is at great personal risk and solely to protect you, the reader, that I will try to complete this article leaving you entirely “knowledge neutral”. Here is everything you need:

What is the Illuminati?

It is a powerful and savagely guarded organisation that secretly controls the entire modern world, probably while wearing cloaks. It has done this mainly through infiltrating the media and brainwashing everybody. It could be doing it right now.

Alternately, it is one of the world’s most persistent conspiracy theories. Persistent because, unlike the piffling conspiracy theories on the 1969 moon landings, John F Kennedy’s assassination, and 9/11, which limit themselves with regard to space and time, Illuminati enthusiasts believe that something is up with everything ever, which as it turns out is very hard to disprove…..Click Here To Keep Reading

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